I would like to acknowledge the First Nations people as the original inhabitants or as the Traditional Owners of the land where I live and work - Meeanjin, Brisbane. I recognise the country north and south of the Brisbane River, as the home of both the Turrbul and Jagera nations. I pay deep respects to all Elders past and present and future.
“Why do these loud-mouth wh*res need to paint their opinions everywhere? No one cares, why don’t they just shut up and do their jobs, sucking dick and looking pretty or whatever it is they do”.
Hello, it’s ‘Australia Day’, the 26th of January for audiences outside of Australia. From an outside perspective, as mine was up until I moved here a few-ish years ago, the concept of a public holiday to celebrate a nation doesn’t sound so bad. But today, if you’re online, you will see a lot of controversy around the day, and that a significant portion of Australians are campaigning to change or abolish the date. Now, I’m an import here and like many white people living on this land, I am still learning and being re-educated on what it means to live here and so I am not going to speak on the subject as if I’m anything more than a simple student. At a basic level, the date signifies the raising of the British flag upon the arrival of the First Fleet of convicts in 1788, symbolising the beginning of the colonisation/theft of Australia by the British, declaring the land Terra Nullius (nobody’s land) and effectively erasing the humanity of the existing peoples. Consequently Australia Day is commonly referred to as Invasion Day, and a lot of sex workers are publicly talking about it.
“First Nations people suffered massacres, land theft, stolen children and widespread oppression at the hands of the colonising forces. For First Nations people, 26 January is a day of mourning the history that followed the steps of Captain Arthur Phillip and the First Fleet.” - https://www.commonground.org.au/learn/australia-day
Australia Day is a contentious issue for Australians, with most people having an opinion about it, whether it be to change or abolish the date, a day of mourning or to reflect, or a good excuse for a piss-up at their mate’s place listening to Jimmy Barnes and burning an assortment of meat on the barbie.
Now, you can probably tell already that I have an opinion on the subject. In fact, I have a lot of opinions. I am a real person who lives in the world - I read the news, I generally read beyond the headlines, I like to research things from different perspectives and I like to think I’m reasonably, but definitely not wholly, informed on social issues and general news. I have a brain, I did well in my studies, I like to think I’m a critical thinker and importantly (I say importantly because it’s relevant to the job) I’m an empathetic person with a deep interest and care for people. So the fact I have opinions on an issue as fundamentally important to the whole nation I live in, and one so divisive, should really come as no surprise to anyone really. I like to imagine I present my opinions as a citizen of the world and not an expert on anything, but regardless I am passionate and I speak my mind, as I was raised to do by my for-the-time-feminist family.
And yet, I am also a sex worker. Outside viewers and a select gaggle of clients see it as a bizarre juxtaposition that someone who sells companionship should speak their leftie mind in view of browsing consumers online, as surely that would alienate my client base, and shouldn’t I just sit here looking pretty, giggling at their thinly veiled racist jokes.
But those who have this view would be forgetting some quite important things. Firstly and significantly, sex workers are often the ‘hot topic’ of discussion - our very existence is political. As a marginalised group for whom many people would rather not be doing the bidding, we are in our very being, intrinsically political. We have to be loud, effective campaigners for ourselves so people in power, our representatives and society itself will listen to us, acknowledge us or to allow us our basic human rights. We are political before we even begin to address subjects outside of just ourselves. So for us to work, for us to gain or access services that other people take for granted, we are often already very strong minded, outspoken individuals. And this beyond the sex worker rights movement etcetera, advantages us anyway, as we navigate a largely hidden industry plagued with customers that might seek to disempower, silence, or further marginalise us. We must be strong to negotiate our lives alongside them too. We are living and breathing clickbait. We are the topic that everyone has an opinion on but very little actual knowledge. So if you think a group of people can have and speak opinions, you know, you’re talking about a group of people that have really had to speak out for themselves and educate people, and if you think they won’t think twice about using that well honed voice for other causes that are important and often personal, well, you’re kidding yourself. This is the reality of sex workers as a group - we have a lot to say because we have to. No one else decent is going to do that for us.
Beyond that, it’s also important to remember that it’s not true, or at least it isn’t now, that all of our clients are right-leaning Boomers who spend every weekend at the golf course talking about grabbing women by the pussy. It simply isn’t true. It is possible, increasingly so - thank goodness because this is me… to have a demographic of clients that are left-leaning and feminist. And female. While yes it’s true, the client base of white upper and middle class management cisgendered males is still quite significant, the truth of it is, they just don’t hold the same buying power in the industry that they used to. You can be as left as you like and speak your mind, so long as you know your demographic. I say all this with full acknowledgement of my white privilege, and the privilege of no longer being a survival worker, but the industry is changing. I have been a sex worker for a decade and when I first started I had no concept that one day my client base would one day be mostly women, couples and left leaning feminist engineers. But as the world, and as general industry changes and grows up, so will ours. And being an opinionated woman in 2021 can not only be acceptable, but an effective marketing strategy. When naysayers question that I speak my mind, when they want me to be quiet, it simply doesn’t bother me because they were probably never going to book someone like me to begin with, and there’s other clients out there who will. Having an opinion tells clients that you possess intellect, and the modern client really is looking for much more than someone with a pretty face and nice tits saying ‘Yessir’.
Which brings me to the next point. I speak my mind openly, sure, but I don’t expect all clients to agree with me. And equally, not all clients looking for company want someone who perfectly echoes their views on the world. Sometimes, it’s really quite enough for clients to see that you can string a sentence together. It’s also genuinely intriguing to meet people who are different sometimes. That’s how we learn and grow. While sometimes I find it a bit offensive how impressed clients can be that you can easily use a word with three syllables in a sentence, it does work to our advantage. A lot of clients these days want someone they can tolerate the company of outside of copulating and a few minutes of small talk, and someone who puts their views out there is openly inviting clients who enjoy discussion. This isn’t to say someone quite right-leaning is a good match for a loud leftie, but two people who care enough about the world to have opinions often make a good match. I have met many a person with different views to me who have adored me over the years and we’ve enjoyed amazing times together out of being passionate people, and hell, I’ve even managed to sway more than one conservative fella to my point of view. Indoctrination by blowjob, if you will.
Most importantly, sex workers just have opinions because they’re people. Like any other person living in this crazy modern world, social media is an outlet. But going beyond that, sex workers do accrue quite a following, and it isn’t just the occasional tit pic and upskirt that grabs people’s attention (though, it helps) - it’s also our unique view of the world. As people who get to know your bosses, your tradesmen, your wives, your parents, your politicians and your celebrity crushes on an intimate level… well people care what we have to say. Our world view from living somewhat in the shadows but also deeply ingrained in larger society can’t be claimed by many other industries. And isn’t it important, as a paying client, not just that we can think critically, not just that we can fuck and harbour discussion with people we may never have otherwise met, but also that we show a deep sense of compassion? Big issues, ‘Australia Day’ being just today’s example, usually centre around people and human rights. Sex workers trade off the fact they’re non judgemental companions for all kinds of people. Surely as someone who is browsing the internet for someone you can get intimate with, you would want someone who possesses traits such as empathy, compassion and humanity. Sex workers not only are comprised of a vast range of people, often in marginalised groups such as the LGBTQI+ community, the First Nations community, People of Colour, immigrants, and people with disability, they also service people of these communities as well. The sex work community is diverse but equally also so are our clientele - and when we speak for important social issues, that is remembered by people for whom it matters most. Maybe Dean from marketing scoffs, shakes his head and books someone neutral for his one hour Friday evening rendezvous that he’s forgotten by Monday, but I guarantee many more will remember socially aware providers when they plan for a session they want to be unforgettable.
Ultimately, sex workers will always speak their mind, and some are going to stay pretty pissed off about that - they’d find something to complain about even in our silence to be honest. But at the end of the day, do words spoken by people who don’t directly pay our bills matter? It could, if it got to us, if we read every comment and lost sight of why we are here and took it on board as personal criticism. But with the knowledge that people do listen, that our reach is vast, that there is money to be made still while being authentic to our beliefs, why would we stop? Curating followers, fans and clients who not only respect us and pay us, but allow us the space and platform to speak our mind about issues that are bigger than us, makes us more a part of the fabric of society, and the haters and naysayers only elevate our voices through hits and views and retweets.
So this is why I’ll never be quiet - because things that matter to society matter to me, which matters to many of you. If you expect the undergrowth of your society to stay quiet then it never flourishes, culture never blooms and there will just be a lot of really, really terrible sex.
PETRA FOX
Twitter: @foxandthefeline
Instagram: @foxandthefeline
Web: petrafox.com.au