Thankyou for seeing me, asshole

 Thankyou for seeing me, asshole. Thankyou for taking time out of your day to put money in my pocket, just to be an asshole.

Thankyou for seeing me, asshole. Thanks to your money and your putrid attitude, I decided to take time out of my day to take care of myself. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be enjoying my new mani-pedi. I wouldn’t have got that shoulder and neck massage that I really needed.

Thankyou for seeing me, asshole. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have had the inspiration I needed to hit the gym just that bit harder than usual. My figure thanks you.

Thankyou for seeing me, asshole. Your funds took my best friend and I out for dinner, so we could have a good bitch about you and others like you. The food was delicious, thanks for that.

Thankyou for seeing me, asshole. Thanks to your disgusting behaviour, it made me feel especially grateful that 99% of my clients are better than you - though it isn’t hard. I’m feeling deep gratitude now for how wonderful, literally everyone else is, compared to you.

Thankyou for seeing me, asshole. You fattened my pockets, only to waste your time being a terrible human. I walk away richer, you walk away the same fucking idiot you were when you walked in. 

Thankyou for seeing me, asshole. I bitched about you to my lover and he came over and fucked me with a tenderness you can only dream of. I came 5 times and slept like a baby. I bet you sleep alone tonight.

Thankyou for seeing me, asshole. You inspired me to write a little snippet for my blog, an excellent marketing tool.

And you, you achieved nothing other than shifting your capital to somewhere more worthy.
So I thank you for seeing me, asshole.

PETRA FOX

Twitter: @foxandthefeline

Instagram: @foxandthefeline

Web: petrafox.com.au