A few or more years ago, tired of relentless enquiries who obviously hadn’t read my ad or put any care into their enquiry, I added an extra question to my contact template on directories: “What’s your favourite animal?”...
There wasn’t any real depth to this choice, I just wanted a way to separate the serious enquiries in my inbox from the rest of the fluff. Besides, everyone likes animals right? Worth a shot.
Years later, this question is still there, as it turns out it has been an exceptionally useful tool. As I predicted, it did help me weed out unthoughtful enquiries and timewasters. I don’t think I can understate just how prevalent an issue timewasters are in this industry – from silly through to nasty, there’s an entire population of people out there passing the time by annoying escorts. But, I think it’s been much more than just that.
Asking a wholesome question in a context that many would assume to be quite sexual, elicits a number of reactions. Just yesterday it even prompted an abusive response – that’s fine, that means I weeded out a nasty person in the process. But mostly, it gives me just a little insight into a person, and likely them a little about me. I’ll be honest, 8 out of 10 clients simply say ‘cat’ or ‘dog’, which is pretty fine because domesticated animals are adorable, and obviously I have a cat I’m rather crazy about too. That doesn’t give me too much insight really, but these clients are often still excited to show me pictures of their animals when they show up – so we’re instantly bonding which can only be positive.
But there’s also the weird little nerds out there just like me who come up with something pretty cool or random – (some I’ve even had to Google!) and I think it says a lot about a person who takes that moment to really mull over the question and respond with intention. I think while domesticated animals give you a sense of home, wild animals give us a sense of the world, so there’s a wonderful curiosity in people who give thought to un-bonded animals. That little question tells me so much about how a session will go, just that extra minute of thought by that person about a Mantis Shrimp or Platypus shows 100 times more commitment than the ‘you available babe?’’s filling up my inbox.
Sessions are predominantly about the client and their needs, but finding common ground with a person makes it quite magical. A large portion of clientele, not just for me but in general, are male and perhaps Engineers or IT – people with very different minds to me. Therefore, finding common ground early on is always helpful, and quite fun. I am no Engineer, and I have zero knowledge of video games and the like, but if I can find a nerd who wants to talk animals – we have lift off! Something about being in the company of someone passionate about animals, sort of makes me feel safe. It just seems to be an attribute of good people – that ability to care selflessly for other creatures. I know for sure I’d never be comfortable opening my home (or my legs!) up to anyone who responded that they hate animals – that kind of psychopathy isn’t going to vibe with me, honestly.
I understand I sound a little crazy, it’s bizarre to be a sex worker talking about, now writing about animals. You’d be mistaken to think I’m vegan, I’m not – I’ve never found the balance of my innate hedonism and ethical consumption (working on it). But I think it important nonetheless to have things that make us smile. A memorable quote from one of my favourite movies ‘Under the Tuscan Sun’ of Federico Fellini - “never lose your childish enthusiasm, and things will come your way” says everything – animals always make me feel joyous, even when things are difficult. Just recently I had several difficult months in my own life, and so made a concerted effort to see Quokkas on Rottnest Island when I was in Perth, and it really reconnected me to that childish, earth-connected part of myself that sometimes I lose sight of in my busy, city life.
And we too are animals. We are not removed from the Animal Kingdom, we are a part of it. I’m sad to say, we are the parasites in this Kingdom though, as we lose hundreds of unique species every year due to climate change, starvation and habitat decline. These are animals who have evolved over millions of years as part of a delicate, symbiotic ecosystem that we are fundamentally fucking up - just, gone. This is obviously part of a different and larger conversation that I won’t get into, but it cannot be so bad to spend a moment feeling compassion or joy about part of the world that we so often in an urban environment ignore, forget and neglect. I really hope to see many of my favourite species on my travels in this lifetime, because you never know just how long we have them for. Hopefully sloths in 2024! (fingers crossed).
What’s this got to do with sex, I’m certain some are wondering. And honestly, probably not much. But we are socially sexual animals much like dolphins, bonobos and even fairy wrens. Connecting over anything, however obscure is a fulfilment on its own – it’s a flirtation, it’s a bit of dopamine and the start of how we bond. With time and age, I’ve come to appreciate the parts around sex that make it wonderful – the getting to know people, the tension, the touch and just the recognition of how unique each of us truly are. Our central nervous systems respond to this time spent getting to relax in someone's presence and relate to them, it makes the latter parts so much more explosive.
This one little change that I put in place to make my life easier has in fact brought me closer to my ideal demographic of client and sparked hundreds of obscure, wonderful conversations. I think it’s kept us urban creatures just a little more thoughtful of our wild cousins, even if just for a minute before we undress to our own most primal, animal state.
PETRA FOX
Twitter: @foxandthefeline
Instagram: @foxandthefeline
Web: petrafox.com.au
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