Currently, approximately half of my clients are women and/or couples.
It hasn’t always been the case - in fact up until two years ago, it hadn’t even occurred to me to make myself available for that. I had had only a couple of working experiences with couples much earlier in my career and the last one had gone quite badly - the lady clearly didn’t wanna be there and I had to fuck her husband while she glared at me from the corner… I don’t know if I’ve ever felt so small or uncomfortable. So, I just wrote it off. There is enough work that comes from men in this industry that one doesn’t really have to do anyone else to make a living. But something a couple of years ago twigged.
Firstly, my sexuality really cemented and I gained a lot more personal experience with women individually and also threesomes (yeap, my own life is as debaucherous as my work life sometimes)- I was armed now with more experiences in my ‘portfoli-ho’ and self-confidence to bring into my work repertoire if I wanted to. Secondly, I was talking to a friend of mine who saw many couples and seemed really happy doing that. She hadn’t had any of the troubles I had experienced years ago, which bolstered my confidence. Immediately after that conversation happened, I received a request from a couple (even though I wasn’t advertising that service) and to me it just seemed serendipitous. If it went well, then that’s great, and if not I would never have to do it again. I didn’t charge them the customary couples rates (usually a bit higher than for solo encounters) because I didn’t feel experienced enough in a professional capacity to, and just went for it (after speaking directly to the lady and being assured she was keen). And it went well - in fact I’ve been seeing that couple regularly ever since, even through covid and rate rises - they’ve been wonderful to me.
Soon after that, I had my first solo lady client, who I also still see, and it’s grown from there. I’ve grown more confident in advertising myself directly to women and couples, knowing now that there is amazing, and really fun work to be had away from the traditional notion of sex work being mainly for men. I kinda wish I’d come to this realisation sooner, but it wasn’t so easy or straight forward to end up here.
Firstly, I was scared of alienating my existing client base. While my clients have always been quite lefty and open minded, probably because I’m quite tattooed and outspoken, they’ve still been men, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned in both my personal and professional life - it’s that men can be very intimidated by a woman liking something else different from them. I’ve seen men feel threatened by dildos, by other men or partners, and especially women. I suppose because women ‘offer something they can’t’, but, it’s silly really because why would you want to be ‘everything’ to someone whose job is literally to fuck other people? But it was a very real business concern. And maybe I had a reason to be cautious - I’ve definitely lost a large chunk of my middle-aged-white-male clientele, not that it was a dominant demographic for me, but there’s only a few who book now. I guess being a very colourful, tattooed, openly queer and partnered sex worker doesn’t appeal to some people. But as it turns out, that’s ok, I’ve gained women and couples in their place and I’m doing really well.
A girl I was dating at the time asked me some big questions while I was considering swinging my brand into the rainbow spectrum - she asked me how long did I plan on doing this and how was I going to do that sustainably and maintain happiness. Good points. My brand has always been very authentic, like sure I keep a few things to myself but mostly what you see is what you get with me. I can’t do the ‘oh baby, your dick is sooo big hehe’ bullshit, partly because I think my clients are intelligent enough to realise it’s disingenuous but also because I’m a terrible liar. So if I didn’t bring my sexuality into my work, a big part of who I am, it was going to start feeling uncomfortable for me with some of their heteronormative dialogue. And the industry is mostly heteronormative, and I can’t pretend it doesn’t grate me. There are so many (often secretly) queer people in our industry, that the common notion of ‘gay for pay’ that gets bandied about is laughable - it’s much more common for providers to be straight for pay - because traditionally it’s men who have all the money, and we want to make money - it’s sort of the point.
Things are changing though. People and their relationships are changing. Covid really forced people to take stock of their relationships, and they’re wanting to try something new. Maybe it’s a threesome, maybe the woman in a long term hetero relationship is mourning a part of their sexuality they haven’t been able to explore. Professional women are busy and tired and sometimes they want the company of a woman without the effort of dating or emotional commitments. Mothers want pampering away from the demands of everyone else, and I even have a straight lady who books when she is in town because, she says, ‘girls give better head and men are exhausting’. It’s definitely been a wild ride opening up as professionally queer - my clientele aren’t always who you think.
I felt like taking a leap into this new part of the industry for me would be a risk I couldn’t take back, but I’ve always had faith in my own hustle and it’s the best move (other than moving countries) professionally that I’ve ever made. I’m pansexual, and I still love seeing men too - I’ve got some amazing clients that I still have from when I first stepped foot in this country, but the variety, and the new challenges and greater landscape of experiences has definitely helped me fall deeper in love with the field of work. Sometimes men can feel ‘left out’ if they aren’t the centre of conversation, but I’ve also had some of my clients come out to me as bisexual or having questions about their gender now they can see that I’m a safe space for them to talk and express themselves freely. That’s kinda beautiful, and shows that there are benefits here for men too (not just the threesomes). This is never getting boring or old - my worst fear is of the mundane and I’ve opened up a door to magical kinds of people, so in making other people happy, I’m making myself happy and content too.
I’m lucky and privileged to have been able to make the changes I’ve made in this little world of mine. Lucky to make a living doing what I love, lucky to have support to do it, and lucky to have fun, respectful clients who give me the space to grow and come along for the ride. By opening up my arms to a wide range of people, I hope to provide a safe space for people to be who they are and indulge themselves for a while, so I’m lucky also that people choose me for that. It’s an honour really to be that person for so many people on their own journeys, whether for carnal delights or a deeper part of someone’s self discovery. I’m making a living being that safe and sexy person for others, and you can’t ask for much more than that can you?
PETRA FOX
Twitter: @foxandthefeline
Instagram: @foxandthefeline
Web: petrafox.com.au
Tips/Beem: @petrafoxbne
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